Experiencing Birthing Pains

Written on September 26, 2013

My wife being pregnant has been a blessing. It has allowed me to go through many emotions and face fears that I never knew existed. It has also allowed me to understand some things I’ve recently been wrestling with.

I’ve come to realize that giving birth is not easy, it is painful and there is so much credit to be given to the person that is giving birth.

I will never be able to fully understand what it means to give birth to another person simply by the fact of human nature. I will never be able to fully express the level of appreciation that my wife deserves for the things her body is going through in forming a human being. Although I cannot fully understand or express these things, I can still thank her and praise her for what she is doing. Because in the end, through all the pain and her commitment to see this pregnancy through, she will give birth to a beautiful human being, our son.

Once a friend, a complete stranger and I were discussing about what our favorite movies were. My friend and I - “movie buffs” - proudly shared our lists of movies we had carefully curated throughout many years. When it got to the stranger we had just met, she simply said, “I appreciate all movies”.

My friend and I looked at each other and proceeded with making our argument that she had to have favorites. After-all, she couldn’t just appreciate all of them. She then proceeded to explain that she appreciated all movies because she understands that there has been an enormous amount of effort and struggle that each person had to endure in order for this movie to make it onto the big-screen for you and I to enjoy.

This stranger understood the immense pains it took of many people to carry an idea from conception, through various obstacles, critics, even moments of uncertainty to finally birth the idea and presenting it to the world.

Lately I’ve been pursuing my dreams and even been part of other people’s dreams. And personally going through the steps in birthing these dreams have been humbling. I’ve come to realize so many times in the past that I have been quick to criticize a person’s dreams or idea only to fail to see that there was immense pain and sacrifice in order for this person even to get to the point of acting upon their dream.

I mean dreaming is easy. Anyone can sit around and dream all day. But the moment a person goes beyond the dreaming is when credit is due. After a person decides to act upon the dream is when they face fears. Fear of rejection, fear of the unknown, fear of criticism. And beyond these fears, is all the time, effort, sacrifice and times of being misunderstood for not following the norm.

I can only give credit for these people. No matter whether I personally think they are doing it right or wrong, credit is due for the obstacles they have faced and overcome. For the many days that they have had to hustle in order to birth their ideas.

At the same time, I must apologize for being a critic. For so many times not thinking about the journey a person has taken to get to where they are. But being so quick to find things that are wrong with their idea or the person themselves. I must apologize to myself for even allowing the phrase, “I am my harshest critic” to paralyze me from birthing so many ideas or making decisions that in my gut, I felt were right.

I applaud all those who are out there hustling to make their dreams a reality. For openly being vulnerable and getting past their fears. Because they know what they do matters. I know the birthing pains you are all facing, but are holding onto a vague glimpse of what beauty will come by not giving up until your dreams are out in the world.

Teachers who have to put up with tough kids and critical parents, mothers who are raising their kids on nuggets and fries, preachers who share every week at the pulpit, entrepreneurs burning the midnight oil, artists who are constantly putting their craft out into the world. Thank you all. I don’t understand all the pains you’re going through but I thank you for going through these birthing pains and not giving up to bring forth your dreams into the world.

I want to thank especially my wife. I don’t know anyone else who hustles as much as you do. You not only have to endure birthing pains but also the pains I put you through to give life to our son and the dreams of this family.

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