I'm A Flake and So Are You

Written on June 21, 2014

I know not everyone is a flake and I myself strive to do my best and not flake out on folks. But if I’m honest with myself, I’ve flaked out on a lot of folks in the past.

What I mean by flake is when a person says, “Hey let’s grab a cup of coffee” or “We should totally hang out” and then don’t follow up with an actual date and time.

For me when a person is flakey it makes me not want to hang out with the person even more.

Being married to my wife, I’ve learned that when a German says let’s hang out, they really mean it and that you will hang out. I admire that. Most likely after they make the suggestion, they’ll immediately follow up with a time and place – in the same moment. That might be a shock to some folks, I know it was a little for me at first.

So how can we be less flakey? After all our time is the most valuable thing we can give to a person and by being a flake we could be missing out on some valuable time with someone.

Add Accountability

Most everyone I know is now connected to the internet. And most likely the person is connected all the time through their phone.

Next time you want to hang out with a person set a time and date and then send them a calendar event.

I’ve seen this practice more and more these days. A request to meet will be made, than after exchanging some suggested days and times, a calendar event is sent out.

The other party has to accept the event in order to have it added to their calendar. This in a way is like an RSVP. The receiving party can accept or no accept.

Not only is this a way to show commitment to meeting, it adds a level of accountability. Most events will include, time, place and even reminders so flaking out is less likely.

Don’t Flake Out

Simply put, don’t be flakey. When someone says, “Let’s hang out” and you say, “Yeah sure” without any sound commitment, it tells folks you don’t really care for them.

Give someone your time, you might be surprised what you might learn or maybe you’ll help them. And if you don’t have time to spend with them, be direct and tell them. Don’t leave them hanging with a “Yeah sure”.

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